SINGAPORE - When Mrs Anne Lee was teaching history and General Paper in junior college, she spoke to her student whose grades went down before the mid-year exams.
The 17-year-old girl, who came from a well-to-do family, opened up to her and said something that would stick with her for many years: “My parents don’t nurture me, they invest in me.”
Speaking about love languages at the GenDate event on Saturday, Mrs Lee, 72, stressed the importance of spending quality time with loved ones, beyond fulfilling their material needs.
The event at Temasek Shophouse was held by ground-up initiative GenLab Collective to bring together the young and older adults through games and conversations.
Youth-senior pairs did a quiz to discover their love language, raced to complete a scavenger hunt and shared memories about objects from their childhood at the event.
The session was held at the end of Global Intergenerational Week from April 24 to April 29, where GenLab hosted a virtual roundtable discussion with experts from Singapore and Australia, among other exchanges with 15 countries on health, ageism and other topics.
Ms P. Keerthana, 28, started the initiative after seeing her grandmother, who had dementia, struggle with loneliness and inactivity before her death in 2020.
“My mum and sister were caring for my grandma, they struggled to occupy her. She had nothing much to do and was always lonely,” she said. “I wanted to give seniors opportunities to stay engaged to avoid mental health conditions and dementia.”
GenLab gives seniors a platform to share their skills and life experiences, as well as to collaborate with polytechnic students on projects. It now has over 30 seniors volunteering to teach clay art handicrafts and other skills.
Mrs Lee, who is trained in counselling, was an adviser for student welfare and pastoral care in Serangoon Junior College. She has retired from teaching but busies herself with marital and family counselling in church, as well as conducting courses on parenting, strengthening relationships and emotional wholeness.
Another senior, Mr Lee Poh Leng, said young people who go for GenLab’s senior sharing sessions are curious to know about his volunteering experience.
From volunteering every Saturday at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), the 68-year-old became a part-time volunteer coordinator there. He took the job two years after retiring from his role as a human resources manager in a multinational firm.
He said his work allows him to stay active and give back to society while also getting a source of income.
He said the patients at IMH do not get many visitors and often get attached to volunteers, asking where they were if they did not come on certain weeks. “We bring joy to them, we bring fun to them. When the patients call your name, when they smile at you, you feel so happy.”
Madam Eunice Gan, 75, also took part in a GenLab initiative where she and two other seniors worked with a group of seven Ngee Ann Polytechnic students on a project on emotional resilience.
She said seniors with corporate and leadership experience are well-placed to mentor youth.
She worked in sales, marketing and corporate training, including working in Bangkok for 30 years, then studied counselling and psychology. This led her to start her own emotional coaching practice at the age of 66. She coaches individuals, mostly women, and gives talks to companies and special interest groups on managing stress and anxiety.
“The backdrop is different now, but people’s fear and anxiety are the same,” she said, adding that seniors can share how they overcame past failures, for instance.
“I don’t need to work and make money any more, but it’s nice to have some work,” she added.
Student Neo Yong, 15, went for the GenDate event with her mother and learnt about love languages – hers is quality time while her mum’s is touch. “When I don’t hug my mum, she would feel upset. I find it embarrassing (to do so). But now that I know (that’s her love language), I’ll try to hug her everyday before I go to school.”
Ms Keerthana, who works as a manager in the public sector, said she hopes to bring GenLab’s activities to senior activity centres in Singapore, as well as work with schools and community partners to run intergenerational programmes.
“We’re looking to find a sustainable way to promote intergenerational bonding in the longer term,” she said.
- More information about GenLab can be found at https://www.genlabcosg.org/
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