Loneliness: The quiet and growing crisis of male loneliness

The quiet and growing crisis of male loneliness

https://www.straitstimes.com/opinion/the-quiet-and-growing-crisis-of-male-loneliness

2025-10-04

By--- Jeffery Tan is the group general counsel and chief sustainability officer of Jardine Cycle & Carriage, and serves on the board of Mindset Singapore. These two entities are sponsoring a Loneliness Exhibition organised by Half Global in The White Space @ SCAPE, 2 Orchard Link, that runs from Oct 1 till Nov 1.

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Loneliness has long been dismissed as a personal misfortune. But evidence now shows it is widespread, measurable and costly. It harms health, reduces productivity and weakens social cohesion. Men are especially vulnerable: They are less likely to sustain close friendships, less willing to seek help and more prone to withdraw when social ties fray.

The numbers are stark. In Britain, a 2021 YouGov survey found one in five men – twice the rate, compared with women – had no close friends. In America, the share of men without close friendships rose from 3 per cent to 15 per cent between 1990 and 2021. In Singapore, a study by the Institute of Policy Studies found the youngest cohort – those aged 21 to 34 – reported the highest levels of loneliness.

This is more than a social concern; it is a public health and economic issue. Meta-analyses show that chronic loneliness increases the risk of early death by age 30 to around 50 per cent, a risk comparable to smoking or obesity. The economic drain is sobering. Lonely employees are less engaged and more likely to quit. In male-dominated sectors like construction, logistics and tech, this threatens stability and output.

Why men are more vulnerable

The roots of male loneliness are both cultural and structural. From a young age, men are socialised to value stoicism and self-reliance. Their friendships tend to be activity-based – formed around school, work or sport – rather than being emotionally connected. When these structures disappear, so does the social scaffolding. Retirement or the loss of a partner can dismantle male networks abruptly. By contrast, women’s social circles, often built around kinship and conversation, tend to be more resilient.

Rising loneliness among young men may seem paradoxical in a hyper-connected world. Yet, three trends may explain the landscape.

First, delayed adulthood. Extended education and precarious early careers mean traditional milestones – leaving home, marriage, entering a stable trade – are often postponed. Without these shared experiences, male friendships fail to deepen.

Second, digital displacement. Online gaming and social media offer entertainment and contact – even the illusion of community – but rarely foster deep connections. Not surprisingly, “connected loneliness” – broad networks of shallow ties – is acute among young men.

Third, narrowing friendship norms. Young men today are less likely than in previous generations to have confidants. While women often maintain multiple close friendships into adulthood, men’s social circles narrow sharply after education, leaving many without emotional anchors – to lean in and rely on – in the journey of life.

Older men are not exempt. For this group, loneliness is often triggered by loss and disengagement: Retirement from work – frequently the primary source of social interaction – can hollow out daily life. Widowhood is another profound shock; many men rely exclusively on their spouses for emotional support, and lack alternative networks when that connection is lost.

A 2017 Duke-NUS study of older adults in Singapore found that chronically lonely men were far less likely to seek medical care than their peers – suggesting a vicious circle in which isolation reduces help-seeking, compounding health risks.

Health decline also compounds isolation. Poor mobility, chronic illness and sensory impairments reduce social capacity. Studies show older men with chronic conditions are significantly more likely to withdraw unto themselves and from the community.

Cultural reluctance also plays a part in loneliness, with older men being less inclined than women to join senior clubs. In Singapore, welfare centres report only about 10 per cent of participants in senior activities are male – unless programmes are tailored to male interests, such as games, breakfast meet-ups or practical workshops.

In short, loneliness spans the two bookends of the male life course: Young men adrift in a delayed, digital adulthood and older men diminished by the loss of work, partners and health.

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The price of loneliness

The health impacts of loneliness are severe: It elevates the risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia and depression. Suicide rates – three times as high among men compared with women in most developed countries – are often fuelled by isolation and loneliness.

In America, social isolation among older adults adds an estimated US$6.7 billion (S$8.6 billion) annually to Medicare spending. Likewise, workplace loneliness is blamed for US$154 billion in lost productivity each year. Across Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development nations, ageing populations and shrinking household sizes suggest the problem will likely intensify.

So what can be done?

Several countries are pioneering interventions aimed at loneliness in men.

In Australia, the Men’s Shed movement provides community workshops where men repair, build and talk. Participants experience reduced depression and stronger social bonds. The model has been adopted in Britain, Ireland and Canada with similar positive outcomes.

In Japan, “ikigai” clubs encourage retired men to join volunteer or hobby groups to sustain purpose.

Healthcare professionals in Britain adopt a novel approach of “social prescribing” - referring lonely patients to non-medical activities like walking clubs or community gardening. This is particularly effective for men who would otherwise never join formal support groups – empowering these individuals to actively build connections within their local community through fulfilling these “prescriptions”. 

These initiatives highlight a key insight: having programmes and activities that avoid labelling men as “lonely”. Instead, the focus is on activities that naturally foster connection, with the inevitable consequence of addressing the loneliness issue. It’s a wily way of playing to the male ego by not mentioning the issue that one seeks to address.

Several clear learnings have emerged.

First, design matters: Programmes that attract women often fail with men, who prefer task-based or purpose-driven groups.

Second, early intervention is essential. Strengthening friendship networks and promoting healthier online/offline balances among young men are as important as supporting older populations.

Third, workplaces play a critical role: For many men in mid-life, jobs are the primary source of social contact. Consequently, employers should intentionally design for connection – especially as hybrid working risks deepening isolation.

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Chipping in to help

Governments are also beginning to respond to the issue of loneliness. In 2018, Britain appointed a minister for loneliness (although that responsibility has since been distributed across several government departments); Singapore’s leaders have recognised loneliness as a threat to older adults and the youth; and America’s Surgeon-General has issued a national advisory on the loneliness epidemic.

Yet, rhetoric often exceeds investment.

Loneliness is a problem that demands sustained funding, rigorous evaluation and cultural nuance. Governments can seed solutions, but employers, communities and families hold the key to its success. Put simply, it’s a problem that requires a whole-of-village effort.

Placed in its proper perspective, male loneliness is not a personal eccentricity. It is a structural risk – to health, economic productivity and social connectedness. Left unaddressed, it will intensify as populations age and digital interactions replace physical ones.

But this pessimistic outcome is not inevitable.

From Australia’s sheds and Japan’s “ikigai” clubs to Britain’s social prescriptions and Singapore’s breakfast pilots, well-designed initiatives show that men can be reconnected to communities in combating loneliness. The returns for these intentional efforts are significant: reduced healthcare costs, stronger workforces and more resilient communities.

Loneliness is often described as a private pain. In truth, it is a public business that impacts the larger community.

Enlightened societies that invest in male connection are not indulging in a soft sentimental exercise – they are investing in their own prosperity.

In case you are wondering about the purpose of my advocacy for greater male connectedness, this stems from pure self-interest – as a senior male not wishing to be lonely.

Jeffery Tan is the group general counsel and chief sustainability officer of Jardine Cycle & Carriage, and serves on the board of Mindset Singapore. These two entities are sponsoring a Loneliness Exhibition organised by Half Global in The White Space @ SCAPE, 2 Orchard Link, that runs from Oct 1 till Nov 1.