Children Education: Five traits to nurture in your child in 2025

*Five traits to nurture in your child in 2025*

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/parenting-education/five-traits-to-nurture-in-your-child-in-2025

2025-02-02

Jane Ng 

The Straits Times 

SINGAPORE – When children in MOE Kindergarten @ Springdale encounter a problem, they reflect on it to determine if it is a small, medium or big one.

They have learnt that small problems can often be solved independently; medium ones may require some assistance from peers or adults; and big problems need the involvement of an adult to ensure safety.

This “Size of the Problem” concept aims to help children develop problem-solving skills, says its centre head, Madam Nur Hidayah Jamari.

“For a small problem, like not wanting to share a toy, children are encouraged to talk to their friends and negotiate taking turns,” she says.

For a medium problem, such as a peer using unkind words multiple times, children can express their feelings using phrases such as “stop, I don’t like it.”

For a big problem, such as witnessing unsafe behaviour like climbing furniture, children are taught to seek help from an adult immediately, she adds.

Teachers teach this concept through stories and provide opportunities for children to practise their problem-solving skills.

“By supporting them to reflect on their problems, children make better choices when situations occur,” she says.

1. Creative problem-solving

Why it is important

Being able to think of creative ways to solve a problem helps children approach challenges with confidence, says Madam Hidayah.

Children encounter problems daily, from resolving conflicts to tackling challenging tasks.

If parents start nurturing their children’s ability to solve problems creatively from a young age, it empowers them to think independently and make informed decisions, says Madam Hidayah.

“This skill enhances their ability to collaborate effectively and adapt to different situations,” she adds.

Children will be able to analyse situations, generate multiple solutions and evaluate the best course of action, she adds. “These skills are transferable and will benefit children throughout their lives, whether they are working on a group project, resolving conflicts or navigating their careers as adults.”

Help your child develop it 

Encourage your child to think of multiple solutions when he or she encounters a problem by asking open-ended questions, suggests Madam Hidayah.

For example, parents can ask questions such as “what do you think we can do about this?” or “can you come up with another way to solve this problem?”

Parents can also lead by example, by verbalising their thought process when addressing everyday challenges.

Another way is to reinforce the importance of collaboration by engaging in group activities that require teamwork and shared decision-making.

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2. Positive attitude towards learning

Why it is important

A positive learning attitude is made up of 3Ps: perspiration (effort), patience and perseverance, says Mrs Sharon Siew, principal of Jing Shan Primary School.

With these qualities, children will have an advantage in learning. They will be more motivated to understand and master new concepts, and be more likely to explore topics of interest, says the principal of 17 years.

There are also benefits in non-academic areas. Children with a positive learning mindset will be curious about the world and have empathy, says Mrs Siew.

The young ones, having gained awareness of real-world issues, such as environmental conservation, may be inspired to serve the community, she adds.

Help your child develop it

Children learn by observing their parents, so parents can show enthusiasm for learning; and patience and persistence when solving problems, says Mrs Siew.

To emphasise that effort is important, encourage a child to tackle challenges with determination from a young age, such as not giving up when working on a puzzle.

When a child struggles, remind him that persistence is key to success, she adds.

Parents can say something like this: “Remember how long it took you to ride your bicycle? You kept trying and now you’re great at it.”

Parents can also share with their child the mistakes they made and how they tried again and did better.

3. Resilience

Why it is important

Life will not always be a bed of roses. So, when a child is faced with a setback – for instance, disappointment over examination results – one who is resilient will be able to view the disappointment as a way to grow.

Contrast this with a less resilient child, who may see the results as a reflection of his ability, and adopt a pessimistic attitude, says Ms Jana Dawson, deputy chief executive of The School of Positive Psychology.

Ms Dawson says resilience is critical for children’s long-term well-being as it helps them to handle setbacks in a constructive way.

This helps them adapt when things do not go as planned.

Resilience fosters a mindset of improvement over perfection.

“For example, in situations like disappointment over results, resilience enables children to process their emotions, understand the value of effort over outcomes, and stay optimistic about the future,” she says.

With this skill, children are less likely to internalise setbacks as failures and come to recognise that their potential and worth are not defined by any single result.

They are better able to manage stress, adapt to changes and remain hopeful.

“Ultimately, resilience supports their mental health, enhances their sense of control and empowers them to approach life with courage,” says Ms Dawson.

Help your child develop it 

When a child encounters challenges, parents can help him consider alternative viewpoints by asking questions like: “Is there another way to see this?”

If a child responds with, “I’m not good at anything”, parents can guide him to reflect on his strengths in other areas, acknowledging the difficulty of the current task.

Viewing situations differently helps a child broaden his thinking and challenge assumptions.

Parents can help their child identify and develop his strengths. One way is through the Values in Action (VIA) survey by non-profit organisation VIA Institute on Character that can be found on its website.

Another way is to teach a child the importance of taking breaks, exercising and socialising.

Parents can also help the young one find daily “slices of joy”. This includes activities that make him feel positive and refreshed, such as hobbies or spending time with loved ones.

Regularly including moments of joy helps maintain emotional balance.

“Normalising failures and hardships as growth opportunities is key to resilience,” says Ms Dawson.

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4. Confidence

Why it is important

One of the key traits children need to thrive in modern society is confidence and the ensuing self-esteem, says Dr Mercy Karuniah Jesuvadian, a senior lecturer in psychology and child and human development from the National Institute of Education.

Confident children can communicate their thoughts and feelings to venture out of comfort zones, which is key to creativity and innovation, she adds.

“Without confidence, a child cannot fully participate as an equal member in his peer groups or problem-solve,” says Dr Jesuvadian.

Help your child develop it 

It could start with something as simple as letting a child share his thoughts on people, events and happenings freely.

Dr Jesuvadian encourages parents to get their child to share his opinions with people other than familiar adults.

Teach the child how to ask questions politely when he is unsure. This skill will lessen anxiety in a new place as he can ask for help when needed.

Give the child the space to think through simple problems. For example, parents can get him to choose and hang decorations for Chinese New Year.

“When things don’t stay up on the wall, ask the child why. Get him to figure things out,” she suggests.

Another way is to discuss events in the news. Ask the child for his opinion and to tell you how and why he thinks that way.

Confidence is also built on the nature of feedback. Parents need to respond positively even if the child’s effort has failed, says Dr Jesuvadian. “Show where the child has gone wrong (demonstrate), get the child to redo it and provide constructive comments. Try not to dictate your child’s actions,” she adds.

5. Emotional regulation skills

Why it is important

Developing emotional regulation skills helps children manage big feelings, says Ms Jacinth Liew, a former teacher turned parenting coach at Our Little Play Nest.

This could come in the form of disappointment when they are not selected for the school team, sadness when their friends ignore them at recess or envy when other classmates get the newest electronic games.

A pre-schooler who can regulate his emotions will be able to tell his friends, “I will pass it to you when I am done”, instead of shouting or snatching the toys back.

Or, if he is hungry, he is able to tell his parents, “I want to eat more”, instead of throwing tantrums.

Help your child develop it 

A key to helping a child better manage his emotions is for the parent to be in control of his or her own emotions.

“When that happens, parents send a powerful message: ‘I’m not afraid of your big feelings, and you don’t need to be afraid of them either.’ This helps them feel safe and supported,” she says.

The calm that parents exude also becomes contagious – through the activation of their child’s mirror neurons, specialised brain cells that mimic the emotions and behaviours he observes.

A common mistake parents make is when they feel a need to stop their child’s crying as quickly as possible.

Says Ms Liew: “By doing so, we are robbing children of the chance to practise modulating their emotions.”

Normalise and validate all feelings rather than sweep a child’s emotions under the carpet.

Parents can teach some simple coping skills, like deep breathing, counting to 10 or rating the child’s feelings on a scale of one to 10.

Alternatively, calm a child down by holding his hand or offering a comforting hug.

“Physical touch can help release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of security and calm,” says Ms Liew.

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