Minor Issues: A dad’s letter to his son who is doing his basic military training

Minor Issues: A dad’s letter to his son who is doing his basic military training

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/parenting-education/minor-issues-a-dad-s-letter-to-his-son-who-is-doing-his-basic-military-training

2022-11-20

SINGAPORE – I received a notice from the Ministry of Defence (Mindef) requesting that I write a letter to my elder son, who is undergoing basic military training (BMT) for his national service (NS). Apparently, the letter will be given to him during his time in training, when he will be in need of encouragement. This is what I wrote.

Dear R,

As I write this letter to you, you are sleeping in your own bed at home after booking out from BMT.

Your mum and I have been ecstatic to see you these last few weekends, especially after the three-week in-camp confinement period.

The last few weeks have been a period of adjustment for us all.

There is a gaping hole in the family that you have left behind. You have been in your bed every night since you were a baby. Walking into your room each morning and seeing an empty bed is just really hard to get used to.

It doesn’t help that your younger brother has also been away.

We went from a full house with two noisy and lively boys, to an eerily quiet empty nest in a matter of days.

The adjustment for you has been no less dramatic, leaving civilian life and enlisting as a recruit.

I am encouraged that you seem healthier and happier since you enlisted.

Healthier, because of the numerous physical training sessions to get you into fighting shape, sometimes up to twice a day. As you get fitter, your shoulders are filling out. The tan lines that are forming certainly add a ruddiness to your face and limbs.

Happier, because there is a sense that you are getting on with your life – finally moving forward after a period of stasis that followed after you graduated from polytechnic earlier in the year.

In our chats, you are already thinking about your future after NS, and I am so excited for what is in store for you as you plan for university and the life ahead.

In many developed countries, young people your age sometimes entertain the thought of taking a gap year.

Here, we have our uniquely Singapore version of the gap year. NS lasts for two years, and you don’t have a choice as a male Singaporean. Needless to say, I am glad you are making the best of your gap years to think about and prepare for your future.

You seem to have adjusted well to life as a recruit. You tell us that the tremendous learning that you encounter each day is invigorating: from learning how to fold your uniform and how to assemble and disassemble your rifle to adapting to the regimentation of military life.

After booking out and coming home each weekend, your never-ending stream of BMT stories amuses us greatly while giving us precious glimpses of your life in camp.

You tell us that your commanders are good people and that you respect them, and would follow their lead, if and when the situation calls for it.

You sometimes tell us that you actually enjoy military life and look forward to booking back into camp each week to see your mates. As a parent, it is reassuring to hear that you are not suffering and dreading the return to training.

You worked in Starbucks between graduating from polytechnic and your enlistment. After five internships on developing search crawlers, databases and robotic process automation, you decided that you wanted to do something for your artistic side – latte art.

On further reflection, I realised that, coincidentally, both are uniformed organisations identified with green: Starbucks with its distinctive green apron and the military with its ubiquitous green fatigues.

Both organisations have brought about dramatic changes in you.

You used to hate doing push-ups before. Now, you do workouts with push-ups, even during the weekends when you are home from camp. You hated running before, but you told us that running shirtless in a group with your platoon mates doesn’t feel like running.

You hated cleaning up. But at Starbucks, even if you were deployed elsewhere for the day and had a tough shift, you would often head back to the store you first joined to help clean up and take out the trash.

The two organisations have allowed you to meet people from all walks of life. They are microcosms of our larger society, and I am thrilled that you have made lifelong friends from other races in both.

In many ways, Starbucks and Mindef have much in common. Both organisations need skilled, committed young people to keep the daily operations going.

The final point of commonality is that one trains you to shoot, while the other trains you to make shots.

I am so pleased that they have made you a more well-rounded individual. They have also equipped you with skills you will carry into your professional life, long after both Starbucks and your time in the military have become distant memories.

As I wrap up this letter, I reminisce about my own field camp experience when I was in NS. I realise that soon, we will have that shared experience between us as father and son.

I have written to you about serving the country in previous letters. I am glad that you are tangibly doing that now during your military service, and I am so proud of you for your service.

It has always been my belief that while war is a disaster, to leave our country undefended in the face of our enemies would be a greater tragedy.

R, you know that Singapore is not a perfect country. But I do believe that you, too, see that this is a country worth protecting. What we have here is precious and worthy of our sacrifice.

We look forward to seeing you at the floating platform for your BMT passing out parade, when you are no longer a recruit and boy, but a soldier and man. I love you.

Yours, Pa

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• Abel Ang is the chief executive of a medical technology company and an adjunct professor at Nanyang Business School.