Beyond advice - the quiet, profound lessons from mentors*

*Beyond advice - the quiet, profound lessons from mentors*

They have guided me as a medical student, and now as a doctor, with lessons in patient care, compassion - and self-knowledge.

https://www.straitstimes.com/opinion/beyond-advice-the-quiet-profound-lessons-from-mentors

2025-02-23

By---Faye Ng Yu Ci is a junior doctor in the Singapore public healthcare system.

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The patient was a grandma in her 80s. She was diagnosed with dementia and hypoactive delirium, a condition where her faculties were diminished, and she was unable to engage meaningfully with the outside world.

When she failed to respond to our repeated questions and prompts, my registrar grew quiet, and walked over to a cabinet by the patient’s bedside.

Rummaging through the drawer, she took out a comb and began parting the elderly woman’s hair. She combed the silver strands with unhurried precision, her gentleness an image I recall to this day. 

No words were exchanged with the patient, yet so much had been said. It was one of the most profound lessons on patient care I received.

That registrar, along with the other mentors in my life, has played a pivotal role in shaping the person I am today. 

My clinical tutors have shown me how big a heart a physician can have, and that genuine concern goes beyond the extent of care.

My professors have not only taught me how to whittle down the constellation of signs and symptoms to arrive at a diagnosis, but to regard the patient holistically as a person – as more than just his or her disease. 

“To be a good doctor is to go beyond,” I recall my professor telling me, taking off his spectacles and wiping them with a silk handkerchief.

We were sitting in his office and having one of our quarterly catch-ups. It was seven in the evening and he had just wrapped up his afternoon clinics – having overran on time because of the complexity of cases and lengthy family discussions. 

My professor was one of those doctors who attended to every question of his patients with utmost earnestness, explaining his clinical decisions in detail and doing his best to alleviate their anxieties. 

“I’ve always given my personal phone number to patients, and it’s worth it,” he stated. “If something goes wrong and they need you, you’re there for them. In my 40 years of practice, no one has ever abused that confidence and privilege.” 

The practice of medicine is a practice of apprenticeship. While the science of medicine can be gathered from textbooks, the art of medicine is best acquired by the bedside – directly from the masters of the craft.

My mentors have guided me through my journey as a medical student, and now, as a doctor. They have given me their advice when I encountered conflicts and challenges, while keeping me grounded in my values and focused on my goals. 

In many fields beyond medicine, mentors illuminate the path forward.

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Professional growth and development

Mentors serve as powerful role models and figures of inspiration the younger generation can look up to. They demonstrate what can be done and what is possible, democratising the process of getting there and showing others the ropes. 

Mentorship can take on many forms in the workplace – advice on navigating team dynamics, support in working towards professional goals, and connections widening one’s industry network. Career guidance is often less structured once we leave formal institutions of education, and mentors step in to fill that gap.

Across organisations, mentorship has been known to boost employee engagement and productivity, improve employee retention and build a culture of communication and collaboration. Mentorship also helps in the grooming of high-performing employees and developing a leadership pipeline. 

There are several mentorship programmes in Singapore run by governmental organisations and civil society groups. They include Mentoring SG co-led by the Ministry of Culture, Community and Youth and the National Youth Council, and the NUSS-NUS Mentorship Programme by the National University of Singapore Society (NUSS) and National University of Singapore (NUS) connecting current students to alumna.

Mentorship is not just a one-way relationship where the mentor renders and the mentee receives. Ideally, it is a two-way street, where both mentor and mentee bring their ideas, perspectives and life experiences to the table – a collaboration of co-creation and discovery.

Paying it forward

Some mentorships evolve into friendships, where mentee and mentor see each other as equals, journeying alongside each other.

Mr Lee Sze Chi, my mentor from the Halogen Mentoring Programme at the youth development organisation Halogen Foundation, once shared that mentorship was a way for him to grow and learn as well. He enjoys interacting with young people and learning about their thoughts and struggles. Engaging them also improves his interpersonal skills and ability to connect with others.

However, as a mentee, I’ve always felt guilty for “leeching off” my mentors, cautious of taking up too much of their time and effort.

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“I don’t understand why you do this,” I once confided in another of my mentors, Dr Liew Li Lian, at the end of an hour-long Zoom call. She was on holiday with her family overseas, yet readily responded when I reached out about a time-sensitive career decision.

“Because I care about you. You matter to me – and I want to see you succeed,” she affirmed.

Whenever I ask my mentors about what I can possibly do to repay the favour – be it a cup of coffee or an introduction to a contact – they’ve always told me: Pay it forward.

This echoes what some of my friends, who have gone on to be mentors themselves, have told me. 

“When applying for college, I was blessed to be in a school with abundant resources that helped me to navigate the entire process,” observed a friend, Diya. “Knowing how overwhelming and confusing applications can be for someone with no context, I’m glad to be able to extend that same opportunity to someone else.” She now helps vet the college essays of students from middle- and lower-income families.

Helping me re-imagine ‘success’

Mentors push their mentees to broaden their horizons and consider alternative perspectives. In my case, my mentors have encouraged me to reconceptualise what success means for myself.

In my various conversations with my mentors, we delved into questions like: Is it really about achievements, accolades, or a certain job title by a certain age? What sparks joy and yields fulfilment internally? How do you balance career ambition, interpersonal relationships and personal flourishing?

Often, my mentorship conversations surface more unknowns than answers. 

When I pointed this out to one mentor, they insisted that this was as it should be, adding: “You are the chief architect of your life. I’m just here to admire the blueprints and point out areas you might have missed.”

Both guiding and probing in nature, my mentors’ prompts have urged me to reflect on my life and examine my values, motivations and priorities.

Yet, even when I was unsure, my mentors understood that I was amenable to change. I, like many other young adults, am a work in progress.

Faye Ng Yu Ci is a junior doctor in the Singapore public healthcare system.