Childbearing: Money Can Be Earned Later, but Childbearing Cannot Wait

*Money Can Be Earned Later, but Childbearing Cannot Wait*

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https://www.zaobao.com.sg/forum/views/story20260320-8761601?utm_source=android-share&utm_medium=app

2026-03-20

Lianhe Zaobao

Author: Chen Naiqing (陈乃清）

(The author is the chief embryologist at an IVF center)

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I have worked in an assisted reproduction laboratory for more than 20 years as a senior embryologist, witnessing under the microscope every day the longing of countless families for new life. Over the years, I have seen too many couples seeking “technological solutions” due to age-related infertility. They invest large amounts of time and money, and endure the physical pain of repeated treatments, yet often have to face harsh reality. According to our clinical data, the success rate of IVF for women drops significantly after the age of 40, and becomes very limited after 42. Many, after experiencing multiple failures, can only leave with deep regret, and some even see their marriages affected as a result.

Technology is not omnipotent; it cannot reverse the natural aging of the ovaries. Men have a relatively longer reproductive window—if physically fit, they may still father children even in their 60s or 70s. But once a woman’s ovarian function has significantly declined or she has entered menopause, even the most advanced medical technology can hardly make childbearing possible again. That sense of helplessness—knowing there is no way to turn things around—is something I least wish to see in my career, yet it happens again and again.

At the same time, as a father of four, I also understand that raising children is not easy. From late-night feedings during infancy to accompanying them in their studies during school years; some families move closer to desired schools, while some parents volunteer at schools just to improve their chances. In recent years, with increased population mobility and intensified educational competition, compared to 20 years ago, children face even more intense “involution.” A wide array of enrichment and tuition classes has emerged; beyond the financial burden, the demands of “transporting and accompanying” children also exhaust many parents. Anxiety surrounding various exams often keeps entire families under constant tension.

These real pressures have indeed caused many young people to hesitate about having children. DINK (dual income, no kids), late marriage and delayed childbearing, and even remaining unmarried have gradually become social phenomena. Some people repeatedly postpone marriage and childbirth for career development, only to find they are no longer young once their careers stabilize. Others, passionate about travel and life experiences in their youth, want to see the world first; by the time they wish to settle down, their fertility has already declined significantly. Still others, due to limited social circles and opportunities, do not meet a suitable partner in time, and by the time they do, they have missed the optimal childbearing age. Of course, some people actively choose not to marry, which is a personal choice and entirely understandable.

However, life is often a game of “time and regret.” I once had a client who reflected: in youth, they worked hard to earn money, lived in luxurious homes, drove expensive cars, and traveled the world—their material life was already abundant. Yet in their 40s, they suddenly felt a strong desire to have a child, only to find it very difficult to achieve. After multiple failed IVF attempts, they ultimately had no choice but to adopt.

Recently, at a gathering with several newly retired friends, a university professor said something that left a deep impression on me. He said, “Only when people grow old do they realize that what truly belongs to them is just their health and their children; much of the rest—fame and fortune—is fleeting.” Over the decades of life, children not only represent responsibility but also an irreplaceable companionship—you accompany them as they grow up, and they accompany you as you grow old. This connection between lives can only be truly understood by those who have experienced it.

Declining birth rates have become a common phenomenon in many developed societies. While policy support is certainly important, the ultimate decision still comes from each individual’s life choices.

As a professional in this field, and also as someone who has gone through it, I often want to offer young people a sincere piece of advice: money can be earned later, careers can develop gradually, but childbearing is something that often cannot wait. Time is fair to everyone and never turns back; there is no medicine for regret in this world. If conditions allow, make plans for your family early, while your body is still in its prime. The future may still hold many uncertainties, but at least you will not be left with an irreparable void due to missed timing.

The author is the chief embryologist at an IVF center